saltburnt (inbox)

[katharma]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
yellowjackie

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@doublebluff hi i'm here to christen your inbox with the most awkward conversation of all time

[temujackie]

[ Melissa keeps telling herself that she's changed, that she isn't just the girl who stands in the back and lets everyone ignore her anymore, but if she were really different she wouldn't be doing this. She would be walking up to Jackie in person and talking to her like a normal human.

She can't do that, though, is the thing. She's squirming with shame already, and it's not even over what they all did, which is bad enough, it's over what she alone had said months afterward. She'd namedropped Jackie so casually, hacking away at what must have been over a dozen years of history and reducing them to a single judgment: treated you like shit. Like Melissa herself had not sat on the bench or in the locker room and watched Jackie in the naive hope that if she looked hard enough she would figure out how to become something like her, and then, later, when it became clear that she would not, switched to watching Shauna watch Jackie instead.

So, no, she doesn't think she can do this in person. Yet. Especially not because she doesn't think there would be any way to have this initial conversation without Shauna overhearing, and that would be entirely too fucking mortifying to withstand. ]

hey, jackie. it's melissa, from the team? [ Just in case you forgot her!!! ]

um, i
so travis told me you're here too and that's so great! that's so cool awesome, seriously.

i just got here, so
i'm still figuring everything out and shauna mentioned maybe crashing with you guys sometime but it felt weird to say yes without talking to you first.
but anyway, i'm excited to see you around and maybe if you want hang out and stuff!

[ OKAY jesus christ melissa shut UP and press send ]

PERFECT i love it

[katharma]

[ since she’d assumed the role of captain, she’d taken that to mean that she should make everyone on the team feel included as part of it. it’s why she’d sat with allie and reassured her as she painted a bee on her cheek, why she’d tried to bring misty into group things in the summer at the cabin before the reality that no one was coming for them had really set in. melissa had been a part of that group and even if she could only really know the younger girls so well, she’d tried to make a point of speaking to them at least once on team bonding outings and made charts of their birthdays so she could get a card passed around and signed by everyone on the team.

none of that is the same as trying to befriend or even get to know someone, though, and her attempts at those with melissa had been fairly superficial pre-crash and non-existent post, especially as things got worse. she doesn’t know her relationship with shauna or what was said about her, but can she really fault her for boiling her view of her down when she hadn’t let her know much beyond that?

(well, maybe. because she doesn’t know yet.) ]

Of course I remember you. Hey Melissa :) IDK if this is the ideal place to be but I’m glad to be here. If that makes any sense.

[ it’s something she hasn’t been able to bring up with the others. being here means she gets to live again. she gets to fix what she’d done wrong. ]

It’s cool with me if it’s cool with Shauna. It’s probably a good thing for us to stick together, u know?

[ not that shauna had seemed to consider her any more than jackie had back at home, but a lot of time has passed for them. ]

[temujackie]

it totally makes sense.

[ For Jackie especially, it makes sense. Melissa can't even imagine what that'd be like—getting a second chance like that. For the rest of them, too, though, she can't imagine why they wouldn't want to be here. ]

there is so much food here too? i've been eating nonstop since i got here. and the beds are so soft

[ Hmm. She wonders how much Jackie knows about their situation, like how they're living in the wilderness without the cabin now. Travis had said she doesn't know about what happened "after," but after could mean so many things besides the obvious Huge Awful Thing that Melissa won't even let herself articulate inside her own head. ]

oh, cool. [ Maybe.

She'd actually kind of expected Jackie to say no to sharing a room or at least make some kind of polite excuse about needing to talk to Shauna about it first, but... now... ]

well, you know how shauna is, haha
i promise not to get in your way

sorry, i had a vision @doublebluff

[temujackie]

jackie!

i decided we need to do something dumb and normal, sooo i looked everywhere for the knockoff blockbuster and TA DA, i found it and rented us this movie called "emma" that came out like a month after nationals so i KNOW neither of us have seen it already.

it says it's about this woman in like, the 1800s or something who matchmakes all her friends but "risks overlooking her own chance at love in the process." i guess it's based on a famous book or something. anyway, it sounds perfect!

oh, and i got weed so we can get stoned. okay? great :) see you tonight!

i love it so much

[katharma]

[ that's a lot of words sent in quick succession, so jackie takes a few minutes to read it all before responding, a slight smile on her face when she gets through all of it. ]

OK. :) I can get the snacks together?

a text sent in the very early hours of some morning

[temporicide]

A̶n̵d̸ ̵t̴o̵g̸e̴t̷h̵e̶r̶ ̴b̶r̸o̸t̷h̵e̶r̵s̸ ̸a̷n̴d̷ ̵s̷i̴s̷t̶e̷r̷s̶,̶ ̵t̴o̴g̵e̸t̶h̸e̴r̶ ̶w̸e̴ ̶s̵h̶a̸l̸l̸ ̴b̸u̵i̵l̶d̷ ̸a̶ ̷s̴h̸i̸n̵i̸n̴g̴ ̸t̸e̴m̵p̷l̶e̵,̸ ̵a̶ ̷k̴i̷n̴g̸d̶o̸m̴ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̵ ̴w̴i̸l̶l̴ ̷l̸a̵s̴t̶ ̷f̶o̴r̸ ̶t̶h̵o̶u̶s̸a̵n̶d̷s̶ ̵a̸n̸d̷ ̷t̵h̷o̷u̵s̶a̶n̴d̴s̴ ̵o̴f̵ ̸y̷e̷a̷r̸s̸.̸

[katharma]

[ she doesn't recognize the user at first, only noticing the picture in the ID and knowing she's seen her before, and it takes a few moments of her reading as she tries to clear her eyes of sleep and her head of what she'd dreamed. after she's able to read it, she debates whether or not to answer, but eventually: ]

Who are the brothers and sisters?

@doublebluff

[temujackie]

hey, are you okay?

[katharma]

Me?

Sure.

Why would I not be?

@doublebluff

[temujackie]

[ this text comes in shortly after the voting deadline: ]

do you feel okay about how we voted? like, actually

[katharma]

Not really.

@bob — text.

[sensive]

hey
are you okay?
saber and the others really went in on you guys

[katharma]

I mean IDK if anyone’s okay.
It’s not like we didn’t get just as mad when Ren accused us.

[ and now ren’s been targeted. ]

action —

[highlyemotional]

[ they're not the same age anymore so maybe it's weird to hang out but caroline has learned too much too quickly and wants the freedom of someone who sees her as just caroline. not stefan's girlfriend or fiancee or "the twin's mom" which makes her stomach curdle every time she thinks about it. jackie doesn't look at her like that, probably wouldn't even if she had the context because she doesn't know caroline's future children.

she just wants to be caroline. and maybe hopefully also be useful?? the pipe dream.

after the voting is all done and saber is voted off the island and once night has fallen, caroline creeps over to where jackie is staying and knocks softly. ]

Jackie, it's Caroline.

[katharma]

[ if anyone can relate to wanting to feel useful, it's jackie. she's been trying to contribute in ways that she hadn't been able to back in the wilderness, but there are people doing more in ways that don't involve sabotage, which it feels like the rest of the team had done when they'd voted along with misty.

she's feeling pretty awful about that, so caroline's knock is a welcome distraction. she answers it with a tired smile. ]

Hey. How are you holding up?

@african.grey

[transponders]

I know you're upset with me. I don't blame you, and I'm not mad.

But nobody's really buying this. I'd ask you to vote for someone who can beat out Shauna and make it count.

[katharma]

If I thought someone else was behind it I would.

Wednesday Afternoon - Text

[ragesagainsttheodds]

[ It's a hollow victory when they're all left in limbo to find out if they were right or not. But in the cocophany of arguments, the mess of noise and raised hands around them, one thing had stood out to her.

Jackie had been angry with Misty. She had ended up voting for Yelena.

Her older sister senses are still tingling and eventually she sends the text after agonising over it for a few hours. ]

know things are tense rn and dont blame u if u dont respond to this text

just wanted to say
i appreciate that u heard me out yesterday

i know a lot of shit got brought up and it was upsetting
i dont wish any of you bad
it might be hard 2 understand especially when it feels like im pickin over u guys rn but my focus is on keeping people safe

if you ever need something
even outside of this horror show
uve got my number
ren

[katharma]

[ when she first gets the message she ignores it. it's not until the evening that she ends up pulling her phone out to read it, and once she does, she debates for a long time what to say, or if she should say anything at all.

she, at the very least, wants to apologize for the poisoning. so: ]

I didn't know. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that.

And thank you. I don't know when I'm gonna be able to do that but I appreciate you offering.

post-rez; text

[diarists]

i'm awake.
i mean, back.

i mean




i have a weird dog now.

[katharma]

[ fuck. she'd wanted to be there when shauna woke up, but the girls had insisted on her coming inside when it got too cold. and she couldn't exactly insist she'd be fine. ]

I'm coming. Where are you?????






What kind of dog?

voice @doublebluff

[temujackie]

Hey! Buffy called to invite us to a Thanksgiving dinner she's throwing. You in?

voice

[katharma]

Oh, wow.

[ buffy's been incredibly kind to her, willing to hear her out about shauna and sympathetic and comforting when she'd told her why she couldn't remember. she knows she'd been good to mel, too, so her getting an invite isn't a surprise, but jackie being included on it is. ]

She's okay if I go, too?

delivery ; pretend i did this before christmas was over

[temujackie]

[ okay, since they live together this was probably less delivered and more presented, but:

- a cute ring
- some art pens
- this outfit
- an IOU card promising a date night where jackie gets her pick of every activity/food/etc

and a note: ]

merry christmas! i'm so lucky i get to spend this one with you
♥ mel

🎄 delivery

[mygoodsir]

[Jackie recieves a blue woollen gansey sweater wrapped in holly patterned paper with a note:]

Jackie,

We wore this sort of thing on the expedition. I thought each of you girls should have one.

Happy Christmas.

- Harry Goodsir