[ they're not the same age anymore so maybe it's weird to hang out but caroline has learned too much too quickly and wants the freedom of someone who sees her as just caroline. not stefan's girlfriend or fiancee or "the twin's mom" which makes her stomach curdle every time she thinks about it. jackie doesn't look at her like that, probably wouldn't even if she had the context because she doesn't know caroline's future children.
she just wants to be caroline. and maybe hopefully also be useful?? the pipe dream.
after the voting is all done and saber is voted off the island and once night has fallen, caroline creeps over to where jackie is staying and knocks softly. ]
[ if anyone can relate to wanting to feel useful, it's jackie. she's been trying to contribute in ways that she hadn't been able to back in the wilderness, but there are people doing more in ways that don't involve sabotage, which it feels like the rest of the team had done when they'd voted along with misty.
she's feeling pretty awful about that, so caroline's knock is a welcome distraction. she answers it with a tired smile. ]
[ and she doesn't really care about any of the dead (sorry paul, she only cares because of alia) so she hasn't lost anything either.
just, you know, her sense of self and identity but that's fine! ]
Do you want to take a walk? [ she holds up a mug, of which she has two. ] I brought cocoa. It's kind of gross commune cocoa but it tastes chocolate... adjacent.
[ it's the sort of kindness jackie doesn't think she deserves right now, but she doesn't have it in her to say no. and if caroline's sought her out, maybe she needs a break from it all, too. ]
Yeah, I'd like that. [ there's a flash of a half-smile, and jackie reaches inside to grab her jacket off the hook before stepping outside to join her, pulling it on before reaching out to accept the mug. ] What direction do you wanna head in?
[ for the most part, jackie uses it to warms her hands, at least as they're first heading out. at caroline's question, she sighs. ]
Yeah. I know you weren't here for it but there was a period where everyone could see into other people's memories. I guess people saw into some of ours.
[ which has her worried for a lot of reasons, mostly for the others. but in part for herself. she's been trying not to let the fact that she's dead get out. ]
[ well that sounds like a nightmare actually. caroline has a lot of shameful memories in her past and while she doesn't think jackie is a kind of slutty jealous control freak vampire like her, she's a teenage girl and shame is like a built in factory setting. ]
I was wondering.
[ she doesn't push now though. she wanted a break from her life, she can't go asking jackie to spill all her secrets. that wouldn't be fair. and she's trying to be a better person.
though some curiosities are too great to ignore. ]
Is Misty your coach or something?
[ a 40 year old hanging out with teens isn't unheard of, not for caroline. but mystic falls is fucked up. ]
[ jackie snorts a little in laughter at the question, even though it's not that weird of one. ]
She's our equipment manager. Or was, I guess. She's from further in the future than us.
[ she almost says 'after they get rescued', but she doesn't feel like it's necessarily safe to say that. she likes caroline, but doesn't know her enough to trust her with the knowledge she's dead yet. ]
Yeah, it— it helps that he looks the same. But he has a daughter?
[ she has multiple daughters??? she refuses to think about that though. sorry girls mama doesn't have time for an existential crisis, she'll figure that out in 2-3 weeks. ]
I haven't seen him in years and now we're here and he has a kid. And he is still so hot, in like an evil kind of rodenty way. Which sounds bad but if you saw him you'd get it.
[ is jackie talking about the lost boys? god, she's from so long ago. still, caroline nods because sure that makes sense. despite how dated it is. ]
His name is Klaus. All my friends back home hate him. So I thought it would be easier here because they're not around to judge me for being a huge slut, but I think I'm fucking it up anyway.
[ she is, in fact, talking about the lost boys. her only real frame of reference of kiefer sutherland is still that and flatliners and she's pretty sure he plays a dirtbag in both. ]
Okay, first off, everyone here is kind of roped into being a slut, so screw that if that's what you mean. [ she doesn't know why klaus is hated back where she's from, but caroline is one of the most level-headed people she's ever met; her judgment's bound to be good. ] Why do you think you're fucking things up?
[ to anyone but jackie, it seems. she doesn't want to admit to klaus that she likes him, nor to stefan, despite whatever weird thing they have going on too. she's dancing around it instead of facing it and it's so unfair to klaus.
the worst part is she knows he wouldn't begrudge her uncertainty if she just told him. ]
[ jackie gets the feeling that this is more complicated than caroline's capable of (or comfortable with) explaining during a simple walk, since she's not volunteering why she doesn't want to admit that she still likes him. she's quiet for a moment as they keep walking, her hands around the sort-of hot chocolate as the considers. ]
Yeah, I get it. [ and she does, thinking back to travis back in the wilderness. that hadn't been fair to him, either. ] Well, I don't think people liking each other is really people's priorities right now. You have some time to figure things out, if you want to.
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she just wants to be caroline. and maybe hopefully also be useful?? the pipe dream.
after the voting is all done and saber is voted off the island and once night has fallen, caroline creeps over to where jackie is staying and knocks softly. ]
Jackie, it's Caroline.
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she's feeling pretty awful about that, so caroline's knock is a welcome distraction. she answers it with a tired smile. ]
Hey. How are you holding up?
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[ and she doesn't really care about any of the dead (sorry paul, she only cares because of alia) so she hasn't lost anything either.
just, you know, her sense of self and identity but that's fine! ]
Do you want to take a walk? [ she holds up a mug, of which she has two. ] I brought cocoa. It's kind of gross commune cocoa but it tastes chocolate... adjacent.
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[ it's the sort of kindness jackie doesn't think she deserves right now, but she doesn't have it in her to say no. and if caroline's sought her out, maybe she needs a break from it all, too. ]
Yeah, I'd like that. [ there's a flash of a half-smile, and jackie reaches inside to grab her jacket off the hook before stepping outside to join her, pulling it on before reaching out to accept the mug. ] What direction do you wanna head in?
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[ caroline gestures with her own mug and once jackie's is secure in her hands, sets off. ]
How are you doing? It got pretty rough for your team there for a while.
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Yeah. I know you weren't here for it but there was a period where everyone could see into other people's memories. I guess people saw into some of ours.
[ which has her worried for a lot of reasons, mostly for the others. but in part for herself. she's been trying not to let the fact that she's dead get out. ]
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I was wondering.
[ she doesn't push now though. she wanted a break from her life, she can't go asking jackie to spill all her secrets. that wouldn't be fair. and she's trying to be a better person.
though some curiosities are too great to ignore. ]
Is Misty your coach or something?
[ a 40 year old hanging out with teens isn't unheard of, not for caroline. but mystic falls is fucked up. ]
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She's our equipment manager. Or was, I guess. She's from further in the future than us.
[ she almost says 'after they get rescued', but she doesn't feel like it's necessarily safe to say that. she likes caroline, but doesn't know her enough to trust her with the knowledge she's dead yet. ]
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[ that's so far in the future. it must be so disorienting for misty, all her high school friends are still in high school. wow.
maybe that's what bonnie will feel like when she's misty's age. ]
My ex is from like 15 years in the future?
[ solidarity? ]
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[ maybe weirder for jackie, since she's been dead since the first winter and has only ever known her as a teenager. ]
Whoa, really? [ there's a low whistle that escapes her. ] Now that's got to be weird.
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[ she has multiple daughters??? she refuses to think about that though. sorry girls mama doesn't have time for an existential crisis, she'll figure that out in 2-3 weeks. ]
I haven't seen him in years and now we're here and he has a kid. And he is still so hot, in like an evil kind of rodenty way. Which sounds bad but if you saw him you'd get it.
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[ even with the mullet. ]
Which one if he, if you don't mind me asking?
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His name is Klaus. All my friends back home hate him. So I thought it would be easier here because they're not around to judge me for being a huge slut, but I think I'm fucking it up anyway.
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Okay, first off, everyone here is kind of roped into being a slut, so screw that if that's what you mean. [ she doesn't know why klaus is hated back where she's from, but caroline is one of the most level-headed people she's ever met; her judgment's bound to be good. ] Why do you think you're fucking things up?
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[ to anyone but jackie, it seems. she doesn't want to admit to klaus that she likes him, nor to stefan, despite whatever weird thing they have going on too. she's dancing around it instead of facing it and it's so unfair to klaus.
the worst part is she knows he wouldn't begrudge her uncertainty if she just told him. ]
It's easier to pretend it's just sex, you know?
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Yeah, I get it. [ and she does, thinking back to travis back in the wilderness. that hadn't been fair to him, either. ] Well, I don't think people liking each other is really people's priorities right now. You have some time to figure things out, if you want to.